I'm a loser

 My whole life I've accomplished a lot of stuff. But it never seems to have paid off in some substantial way. Jesus has always taken care of me. I've never been without. But where I'm headed with this is that we're supposed to lose our lives for Jesus sake, and then we will find our lives. If we find our lives in this life, then we're losers with Jesus. It's not good enough just to be a loser in general you have to lose your life for Jesus. Eternal salvation is Free by believing in Jesus Christ, but it seems anything but free. You accept salvation and then you're supposed to start working so that you'll lose your life for Jesus. It's all very confusing. Salvation doesn't seem like free coffee. You don't have to do a whole bunch of good works to get free coffee, and no matter how many good works you do you can't earn salvation. After all salvation from Jesus Christ is free. So the thought is that you're not going to have very much of a reward if you don't have any works for Jesus. And Jesus may say, how saved could you be? you spent your whole life worrying about things in the world.